Special Ed isn't just for children who need Special help any more.

For the longest growing up, I never understood the reason as to why some children excel in studies and other students don't. I assumed if you wanted good grades all you had to do was do the work in class and do your homework. The teacher practically tells you all the answers and how to get them anyways. So for anyone to not be doing well the reasoning for this, in my head, was very simple: they weren't paying attention. It bothered me that some children asked questions on what the instructor had just explained not even five minutes ago. So some us students were deprived of learning time, where we could have gained more information, while other students were struggling on the simplicity of what we had just attained. It bothered me so much and I was full of envy. Teachers felt that if I got it the first time I didn't need any help or praise so I adapted to just doing good to please myself. I began to notice students would disappear from class meetings altogether and only later through playground chat found out that little Deontae was held back and is repeating the same grade, or that bitchy little girl Monica got put back into a lower grade. But no one knew why or understood why Sebastian was in the same grade but in a different class. Sebastian was always a nice kid. He tried really hard on his work and after a while eventually he would get it. He didn't pick fights or pull my hair like Monica did. He didn't throw chairs at the teacher and throw tantrums like Deontae did. He was just, for lack of vocabulary at the time to describe it, slow. A slow learner. Slow to get the jokes. Slow to understand how to play the game. Everything had to be repeated to him and the whole class lost a lot of time. And as a result he was placed in the "SLOW" class, Special Education.

Now there's nothing wrong with special education just at the time we didn't understand it. And now that I'm an adult I do. But I'm afraid some parents still don't quite get it or understand what it is for. More and more parents and teachers are over crowding special education classes as their "go to" to avoid saying "I fucked up". Instead of helping their children with school work, instead of disciplining children for misbehaving in class, they are quickly to say "I think he needs to be tested for special education". See back when Sebastian was in school, Special Ed was frowned upon and his parents were heart broken that this was the best option for him to receive the best education. So instead of parents helping their children with class work and having regular conferences with the teacher to see how their child can make academic improvements they blame the child. They let the child think that there is something wrong with them. They have a learning disability and are incapable of learning like "normal" children. Honestly let's face it, if they just hold their child back or put them a grade back, it doesn't let them off the hook. They will only be prolonging their obligations to helping their child in school, they will still have to help and eventually someone will notice they are at fault which can never happen.

So what is the purpose of this whole rant, nothing at all. It's a blog I'm entitled to state my opinion. I'll just say this to make a child test into special ed is not entirely fair. Some children are just not good test takers. Some fold under pressure. Some think it's an easy way out. But I feel like it's depriving the children who really do need special education. Taking away from their one on one and smaller class sizes. It hinders them from making a smooth transition into mainstream education later and promotes that when something is difficult or you don't wanna do it there is an alternative route. Children should learn at an early age that only hard work and determination pays off. If I can help it I will try to avoid any of my children from thinking there is an easy way out. And I will try my best to ensure special education remains for children who actually need it.

Forget Love I'd Rather Fall in Chocolate.

That feeling of euphoria you get when you bite in to a piece of chocolate. That wondrous feeling a lot like love??? Who wouldn't want it to last forever? I know I do. See love can often be confused with a similar feeling known only as INFATUATION but infatuation can last a very long time. People say love can fade over time but where you ever really in love to begin with...

Love over time needs to be rekindled. You constantly have to remind the other person you love them. People are weak and we always need some type of reassurance. " If you love me, why don't you call... ", "buy me gifts", "write me poems", "say you love me", "write on my Facebook wall". What the fuck is wrong with people?!?! If you want constant gestures of love get a fucking cat. They will smother the hell out of you, purr when you pet them, give you no personal space, and trip you when every they are hungry or want to go outside. That's not love that's annoying.

See my version of love is that I haven't got tired of him yet and every day he finds a reason to make me smile. I still get butterflies when he puts his hand on mine or I look up only to see he was already looking my way. We have an old love with the passion of a young love. So you see I'm not bitter about this whole love thing at all. I just don't like the misuse and abuse of it.

So why do I say forget love I'd rather fall in chocolate? Because every time you feel like you are falling out of love it wasn't love at all and because every time the lovely feeling you get that reminds you of love from a piece of chocolate fades, you can have another piece. Now caution I may need to say, don't get so addicted to that feeling that you become obese but use it in moderation so you always remember what it feels like to be in love. So that is why I say to you Forget love I'd rather fall in chocolate! But I'd gladly settle for both :)

I love u something special

So my BFF asked me to blog more... I love to write but I kinda fell off from blogging. It's just something about writing what you believe to be an extremely good work on your blog and it disappears before you can save or post it due to some bad connection in the universe that kinda just throws you off.

Lol but any ways this one is for you miss LDW and since you are probably the only one reading this you know who you are! (Drake voice)

LeeLonn "Maybe"

I must apologize

I do not blog at all. I guess i am not a true blogger. I will come up with a topic and just go on ahead and blog til my fingers fall off. I just posted this blog to have something new up. sorry that there nothing to read...

Moving On

THIS IS A RE-POST

Current mood: contemplative

Sometimes it seems as if moving on is the hardest thing on earth to do. An thatz because it IS one of the hardest things on earth to do. You feel that it just can't be ova, this doesn't feel right. You know that If you hold on he'll come back. Right? He alwayz does..... No not this time. Its different. What's wrong with Me? You feel unwanted. Unloved. The person who made you feel like the most beautiful person in the world doesn't feel the same about you anymore. So now itz time to move on. You keep asking yourself is it too soon to move on? What if I move on an then after a week he decides that we should get back together. You find yourself writing tons an tons of emails an digital letters an messages with words that describe your deepest thoughts an emotions to him just for them to remain in your draft box, idly, never to be read. Not by him, not by the world, not by anyone, Yet. Actually you look at it an see that its pretty good. Some of your most poetic thoughts ever. And you can see the transformations in your writings. Before you even realize it....you discover that you've already begin to move on.Thatz when you begin to fight it. You don't want it to be ova, but you can't fight the feelings, you just don't feel the same anymore. If you were to get back together it just wouldn't be the same anymore. You feel like you don't know him anymore. Someone that you could always read better than yourself has now become a complete stranger to you. An it hurts so bad because this is usually the part where you suddenly see the light on all his flaws an all tha flaws of the relationship. But no not this one. This one was real. It was real love. All you can think about is what went wrong. Where did it go wrong? You can't really remember anymore. Its all just really hopeless to bring up those painful thoughts anyways. So instead you set your mind on all tha good times you had. Now that you do think about it you guys could get back together an it really would work, just not rite now. Not any time soon. Before you know it your sitting there with that new guy. Your kinda feeling his vibe. He reminds you of your ex. You look up with a small, simple, little smile or your face. There's no point in fighting it anymore. Even tho you always think of him. Even tho you sub-consciously compare every other guy that wants to approach you to him. Even tho you could tell him with just as much conviction as before, today, that you love him and mean it from the heart. Even tho you believe it in your soul that God created you both for the soul purpose that your paths would cross. Even tho you know that tomorrow is not promised but if you died today you could die with knowing the fact you learned true love, that someone in this crucial world loved you as much as you loved them an accepted every part of you. Even though you realize that you will never love anyone the same. You've realized that change is inevitable. An you have ultimately undeniably an unquestionably moved on.

Like A Virgin

Its Funny I'm always so full of ideas and things to jot down but every time i get on my blogger I just Totally spass out and draw a blank. So I'm just practicing my typing skills and trying to come up with something interesting to say. I'm currently experiencing writers block and I hate it. I haven't Written a single Poem in 2009. Yikes, and the Last one I wrote was in the beginning of December. Its kool though. I know that when I'm ready I will be able to put pin to paper and it will just flow. Wanna know the coolest thing about writers block? After its over you can just let Everything go and it comes out perfect. I have so many things to say and it's so hard to say it the way it needs to be said in a poetic or harmonic ritual. Until then I'll work on my short stories and My Blogs. So I'm sitting here like a virgin to this whole writing thing and I've been doing it for Years. Every Great writer must come to this point at some time. I wonder how have great poets like Langston Hughes and Maya Angelo excaped from this rutt? I wonder when will it be over? But mostly I wonder how great this outcome will be. Every time I'm stuck like this a great series of poems flows in grandeur. I'm excited to know what is in store. Most people think You need to be in the middle of Heart break or deep in love but I think you just need something to say and the right time to say it. My time will come!!!! Soon I hope.